Bees suck!

I haven't posted anything all week. I have so many little moments and incidents, that none of them seem big enough to write about and bother you all with! But when I look back over the week, I'm grateful for some of those small moments. Here is one standout moment:

A bee bit me. You might be wondering how on Earth I could possibly be grateful for that moment so I'll  tell you. (Lucky you!) I've been going to work faithfully to prepare my room, materials and mind for Tuesday :) Two weeks ago when I went for the first time, I couldn't help but notice the hundreds (that might be a slight exaggeration) of bee carcasses all over my window sills and floor. The head custodian, John, whom I adore, told me there was a nest outside my window and my window frame had a crack. The nest was bombed, the crack filled, problem solved, right? Wrong. Those buggers keep getting in my room anyway. Each day I'd show up to find more dead bees and some still alive which I promptly annihilated.

This past Wednesday was our kick off day, so I had to be at work all day. When we finally were given a measly hour to ourselves to work, I was checking email. Suddenly, I felt a sharp sting on the back of my neck. I reached up to feel it and quickly realized a bee had stung me and the damn thing got tangled in my hair then went down the back of my shirt. If you know me at all, then you know I didn't weather this calmly. I went batshit crazy, jumped up, swatted, flapped my hair, arms, shirt, anything I could really, trying to get it out to no avail! I screamed for Snyder. He ignored me. Idiot. I screamed again and he came over and helped flap the back of my shirt and it finally flew out. John has no idea how close he came to seeing me in a state of undress. The only thing that stopped from whipping my shirt off was the fact that I could hear parents and their children decorating lockers in the hallway. That's all I needed - getting in trouble for flashing kids. They frown upon that behavior for some reason.

Well, I was mad, it hurt, and I felt like a jerk for making a big ruckus. The nurse nursed me (thank you Roberta!) and then I went to see John, our head custodian. (Did I mention I adore him?!) Here's why I love him: he genuinely felt bad and then sprang into action. He called the bee people and arranged for them to come the very next day and bomb my room. This may seem ordinary, but he had already gone through the proper channels regarding these bees and this time he took matters into his own hands. I love a man of action! He even texted me later to check on me!

So the bee sting made me grateful for John. He is a genuinely caring, kind man who is great at his job and makes me laugh every day. The incident made me grateful that I was stung, not Ryan when she was in the day before. I'm also glad it prompted the bombing so no kids get stung next week.

I still itch like a son of a gun and the bump is big and gross, but I'm okay. Hopefully the bees aren't!

A Duck Bit My Daughter!

Ducks are smart little devils. Once they've been fed, they remember. I guess you can call it some sort of imprinting. They definitely recognize me and Ryan because we throw bread off our deck on a regular basis. Last night we took a walk around the pond and they kept chasing us hoping we had bread. Every time we came around another bend, they'd be racing toward us.

Anyhoo, after stopping at the playground to swing, we continued on our merry way. As soon as they saw us pull into our driveway in Ryan's hot little red wagon, they raced to our yard. I went inside and got the bread. For the first time ever, we stood in the grass, surrounded by ducks, throwing them bits of bread. Big mistake. They are greedy little gobblers! One stepped on my foot and I screamed bloody murder. It was weird having a webbed foot on my bare skin. Ewww!! They were crowding Ryan hard core and I kept telling her to throw the bread away from her so they'd back off. In the midst of all that feathery commotion, I failed to notice Ryan's fatal error: she had a piece in each hand but she wasn't throwing the piece in the left hand. A duck reached up to grab it, nabbed the crust, and bit her knuckle in the process.

Oh, the sadness! The misery! "That duck bit me!!!" Her feelings were so hurt. I think her finger hurt, too, but she was mostly shocked and scared. Who knew ducks could be so vicious?! Here's where the story gets really sweet -- Snyder was with us and he jumped to Ryan's rescue. (Steve-O can't go for walks yet, so he decided to drown his sorrows at EMS and buy stuff. For me! Love that guy :) When they kept coming back, even though the bread was long put away, John gave some gentle squirts with the hose to protect Ryan. Then he filled her pool so she could wade around and the ducks wouldn't get her. He was so good with her, spraying the ducks when needed and helping her get her pool just right. She bossed him and he took it like a man. My favorite direction from her was, "I'll let you know when it's fine." Ha! John will make a good daddy some day :)

She has recovered from the trauma long enough to listen to me explain the duck wasn't trying to hurt her, he just wanted bread. She gets it and has forgiven the duck. She also didn't need John after awhile; she just ran at them screaming, "ARGH!" when they kept coming back. That's my girl :)

Sorry, Steve, you are not a baby!

Good morning all! If you read yesterday's blog, then you know about Steve's misfortune yesterday. (Did I mention he was attacked by hornets earlier this week and one of the stings is infected?! My guy cannot catch a break!)

The results are in and his toe is actually injured pretty badly. The toe has cracked and the x-ray looks like a split piece of wood. Ouch. Okay, now I understand the moaning, groaning, and ridiculous histrionics in the wee hours of the morning. I'm sorry baby for calling you a baby!

He is no longer angry with me, although he still maintains that it's my fault. While I'm not going to take the blame for his injury, I am truly sorry that this has happened to him. He has to wear a boot. Has to rest. Can't work out. And if you've been keeping up with us this summer, you know Steve has lost 16 pounds using the AdvoCare eating plan and supplements and his gym habit has been killer. He is not a happy camper.

On top of all that, his building is closed and he is going to Olympia this year. He's been trying to get his room in order and it's a mess! He's sharing with some other tech teachers and it's currently being used as  a temporary mail room. He went in Monday to sort out his boxes and discovered the mail room situation and that a brand new drill was broken -- in several places and beyond repair -- and it can't be replaced. A budget is a budget.

Steve is not having a good week :( Yesterday, on his way to the orthopedic specialist, he dropped off Ryan at Kango. She stepped on his broken toe as he was leaving.

So, this mom is busy nursing my hubby and sorting out my classroom and trying to stop my 3 year old from sucking the life out of me. But it's all good! At the end of the day, we are okay :) Hope you are too!

Steve broke his toe! And it's my fault...

Yeah, right. He breaks his toe and I get blamed?! Really?

Here's how it happened:

I awoke around 1:30 AM to this highly annoying, persistent beeping sound. I couldn't figure out from where it was coming, so I did what any woman would do -- I woke up my husband. "Honey," I said, "Do you hear that?" He replied, "Uh-huh" to which I said urgently, "Go check it out!"

Off he went to check it out. I could hear him manipulating the buttons on the alarm system. The alarm wasn't going off, that sound wakes the dead and all of Henrietta, but it was beeping for some reason. He turned it off and reset it and came back upstairs.

Right before he dove back into bed, I whispered, "What if the call center calls? Our landline isn't working at the moment, my cell phone is off, and yours is downstairs. Go check it. I don't want the po-po banging on our door and waking up Ryan!" (Sorry, Nance -- no disrespect to Hank!) Off he went again. But this time, he missed the bottom stop on the landing where our cedar chest sits. This is where it gets good.

He starts moaning and groaning and gnashing his teeth. I leap out of bed like Wonder Woman and race to his side only to find him curled up in a ball on the landing. I think his leg is broken. But no, when he finally answers my pestering questions of are you okay?! Is something broken?? he says, yeah, my toe. I gotta tell ya -- I almost laughed out loud. His histrionics were something else. But let's get to why this business is my fault.

So I get him ice, I tape it to this foot, I get him ibuprofen and water, I get extra pillows to elevate and quickly realize that's all we can do for now unless he wants to hit the emergency room. He does not. Thank God! But he's being a bit snarky to me all this time while I'm administering to him like the world's best nurse and I finally say, "Why are you mad at me?" He snarks loudly, "Because I shouldn't have had to go back down there!"

And there it is! Because he's a clumsy oaf and rushes everywhere like an elephant and I told him to go check his phone, it's my fault! Stay away from me, people, I apparently have the power to break your toes!!

He's being a little more reasonable this morning and he's off to the orthopedic specialist, bypassing the primary care guy, and secretly, I think he's being a big, fat baby. I broke a finger a few weeks ago at kickball and kept playing. It took months for that stupid finger to heal and I did not cry like this guy's doing. But I will keep my mouth shut. As much as I can...

For all you teachers out there...

I've gone to school the past two days to sort out my room. Ryan has gone to "school" and Steve has gone in to work on his classroom as well. It's amazing how many people have told me how good I look. Not bragging, believe me! Just commenting that it's summer, my stress is low, and I'm well rested. I've been eating healthfully (thank you AdvoCare!), hitting the gym on a regular basis, and I feel pretty good. I fear that status is going to change drastically in the upcoming weeks! I keep asking myself, "How can I maintain this cool, calm side of myself I've found this summer?" I don't know for sure, but I have a few ideas. Keep reading...

More and more, being a mom and being a teacher are like one big Venn diagram for me. The middle part where the similarities are listed is the biggest part in my circles. I am an avid reader and am currently reading a few books simultaneously - everything from light and fluffy chick lit to books on how to be a better parent and books to inspire my teaching. (And the stack of magazines on my nightstand teeters precariously as well!) One book I've read quite a bit of  is Living the Lessons written by Olivia LaField. Another is Teach Your Children Well by Madeline Levine. Both are about approaching the whole child and stressing what we should worry about versus what we should not. Ultimately, no matter which book I'm reading, I'm applying the information to both Ryan and my students.

I know that becoming a mother has made me a better teacher. The more I learn about Ryan's development, and the more I experience my own wishes and desires for her, the more I see my students through a different lens. The reverse is also true. When I had Ryan, I had 17 years of teaching experience under my belt. I had observed a lot of parenting over those years and I had lots of ideas about what I wanted to do and not do. Teaching has definitely helped guide my parenting. Hopefully Ryan is benefiting from all of that!

Ryan does best when I am paying attention to her. By that I mean truly listening, addressing her needs, doling out consistent discipline when needed, and giving her independence where possible. All kids want that and so many of our students do not get that at home. They get their parents' attention all right, but it's in the worst ways possible; then they bring those shenanigans to school. Ultimately, I get exhausted and angry from dealing with their constant angst. Living the Lessons is lobbying for us to address those issues first and then teach academics. I'm going to give it a try. I have nothing to lose. The author has had astounding results on state exams, so she must be doing something right. I am still trying to sort out what that will look like in my classroom, but stay tuned. I'll keep you posted on my progress!

You're Hugging My Glasses!

It's amazing how in the space of a few days it seems like Ryan's growth has just exploded. The things that come out of her mouth seem so sophisticated at times! But the best part is, they make us laugh so hard.

Case in point, as we drove to Bugaboo for dinner the other night (all you AdvoCare peeps out there -- no worries -- had salad with grilled chicken!) a man on a bike pulled up in between our car and another to stop at a light on Jefferson Road. Now, if you know me at all, you know I'm easily startled. I am jumpy... very jumpy. So when a head popped up next to Steve's, I jumped out of my skin and yelled, "Oh, geesh!" Ryan quickly followed up with, "What is that freakin' guy on the bike doing?!" We laughed so hard. She is quick with her wit :)

This morning as we played on the couch, laughing and tickling and giggling, she had a few good ones, too. We were smushing each other and at one point she giggled, "Mooom! You're hugging my glasses!" Her little face was pressed up against my leg and her glasses were all askew. So cute :)

Soon after, while trying to play a game on Steve's iPhone that she couldn't get to work, she exclaimed, "Oh, shucks!" LOL :) We laughed partly because it was adorable and so sincere, and partly because it was so surprising. Neither of says oh shucks and we often wonder where she gets her new words and phrases from. Then when we laughed hysterically, she raced through the house just yelling it over and over. "Oh, shucks! Oh, shucks! Oh, shucks! Daddy, oh, shucks!" She's a ham who appreciates a good audience!

We've had a couple of good days as you can see. I hope we continue to have more moments where I'm hugging her glasses :)

One step forward, two steps back.

Ah, Ryan. Why can't you just use the potty?! Why?

Steve and I took Ryan to the Wyoming County Fair today located in Pike, New York. It was a long drive, but worth it. It just opened, so if you have any interest, make the trek. I was so impressed! The workers at the fair were so nice, considerate, and respectful.

Overall, Ryan had a blast. She especially loved the animal barns where she insisted on petting every animal multiple times, especially Jasmine. Jasmine was a small pony who had an orange bow in her hair and glitter on her mane :) She will henceforth be referred to as "The Sparkly Pony" as Ryan bestowed her. The third time we tried to pet Jasmine, she wasn't having it. She kept moving her head just out of range. I said, "Ryan, she's just not in the mood anymore. She wants to be alone." Ryan replied, "I can see that she's busy." Hilarious!!

Another favorite was the pink slides. They were super high. In fact, Steve and I were thinking how old we are as the climb made our thighs burn and our lungs gasp for air. But the one time we made Ryan walk the whole way herself, she proclaimed 3/4 of the way up, "Mommy, my legs hurt!" Good! We weren't the only ones whose butt was on fire!

We spent 3.5 hours there and had a really good time. I had many moments where my daughter  made me laugh out loud. The joy on her face and in her eyes radiated through her huge grin straight to my heart. Sometimes I look at that girl and my heart just squeezes with love and pride. It happens a lot actually. I just marvel at what a miracle my child is. Any child, really.

I also marvel how, on the ride home, right about the time we hit Avon, we smelled something that resembled poo. At first, we just thought it was Avon. It often smells. No offense Avon residents, but there are a lot of farms there and sometimes there's a stank in the air :) But once we made it through Rush and hit the outskirts of Henrietta, we couldn't deny it any longer -- Ryan had pooped her pants. Of course, when we asked her, she said, "No, I didn't." Liar.

So where's the marveling there? In the fact that one second I am thinking what an angel my daughter is. She's amazing! And the next second I'm thinking, "Why can't you just use the potty?! Why?? What is wrong with you?!" (I know there's nothing wrong with her, but hot damn, could ya just use the freakin' toilet already?! You had our undivided attention all day!)

So today's title is two steps forward, one back. She's improving, and silly me for thinking it was over. It ain't over until Ryan says it's over :) In the meantime, I will just remember how precious she is. And the number of times I look at her and my heart clenches with love far outweighs the number of times I wonder what the heck is wrong with her :)

What a difference discipline makes!

I have been trying to be very consistent and clear with Ryan for the past few days and it's working! Time Out has become a very effective tool for us. It may not work with everyone, and I'm certainly not implying my daughter has miraculously stopped all of her normal 3 year old behavior, but effective discipline makes all the difference!

So what did I do?! Well, the first time Ryan didn't cooperate, I put her in time out on the couch, TV off, no toys, etc. Believe me, when she cried like I'd stabbed her, it hurt me, but I walked away and didn't engage.  Also, I try to keep my voice matching my words. I have a fabulous friend named Margie Cole who has a life coaching business. I am so lucky because not only do I work with her professionally as my coach, but she has been a great friend to me for 13 years! I get a lot of advice that turns things around immediately.

Margie told me not to hide my feelings because kids sense them anyway. Ryan knows we're upset that she's using any surface she chooses as her toilet, but I've been so careful to be kind and patient. Margie said that's baloney! Let her know you're angry, say what you mean and mean what you say. Now, she by no means is saying to be overly aggressive or punitive, but many parents are afraid to be firm and I need to let that fear go.

If you are interested in reading more about Margie, her website is thesharedjourney.com. You can also click on the My Recommendations tab. It is a direct link to Margie's work. She is interested in helping people be their best selves, as parents, teachers, spiritually, etc. Don't just take my word for it; read her blog and see for yourself :) You won't regret it!

Anyway, back to Ryan and her progress. Mine too :) She hasn't peed or pooed on the floor, deck, or in her pants since Wednesday! Yay! What a relief. The next time she pooped in an inappropriate place, which was in her pants on Wednesday, I scooped her up and said, "We poop in the potty. We are going to use the potty now and get cleaned up. After that, you are in time out for 3 minutes." Boy, did she scream! But I persevered and just kept repeating those simple words. She completely cooperated, hoping I'd let her out of time out, (fat chance! can't back down now!) and she went to her room sobbing pitifully. It lasted 30 seconds, she settled down, stayed in her room and came out a changed girl!

Heaven :) Steve and I are so grateful that my sister Lora and my friend Margie have been there done that and gave us guidance. Try it! You'll like the results :)

A frustrating start to the day

Ryan is in Time Out as I type. If you read yesterday's blog, then you know Ryan has been peeing and pooing wherever she feels like it for the past two days. Why, you may ask? Because she's trying to get my attention.

We've been home quite a bit this summer, just the two of us. Plus Ryan is an only child. She is used to getting a lot of attention from me and she likes it. The problem is, I reach my limits with giving her all of my time and attention. I have spent the summer trying to wean her off of needing the constant attention from me and for the most part, it's gone really well. Until the past two days.

What to do?! First, I need to stop being terrified that if I reprimand her for not using the potty, she will  regress and never use the toilet properly. I am being too "nice" out of fear. Doing something out of fear is never good! Secondly, I need to be CRAZY consistent about not giving her the attention she's seeking. For example, since I don't yell at her or give her consequences because I'm afraid of "ruining" her, I am teaching her that she can take a dump on the deck and get my attention and not face any consequences. That has got to stop. Finally, I need to put it on her and give her choices.

Before you think I'm a genius, realize that all of these ah-ha moments came from me and my older sister, Lora. She was on the phone with me when Ryan pooped on the bathroom floor this morning, despite the fact that she had been on the potty two seconds before! Lora heard me being calm and patient, and also heard me not giving her a consequence. She talked me through it and helped me understand where I'm going wrong.

If you have any other advice, or similar stories, share! Moms need to support moms and we need to learn from each other. Remember, my blog is also about no judgements. Maybe your kid has never crapped on the deck, but I am betting he/she has done something else equally nasty. So let's all admit that our kids struggle, we struggle, and it's all a part of growing together.

Thank you, Big Seester for your help! Love you :) Lynny

If you really want to...

see my daughter's poo on the deck, fine. I cannot believe people have messaged me asking to see it! So, I will share. But I have conditions: 1). We must be close enough that you have my cell phone and can text me. 2). I am sharing for humorous purposes only. Please don't judge! 3.) If I discover this photo has been tagged in any way, you will find the poo on your front door step.

Entering the 21st Century of Technology!

Today has been a coming out for me. No, I'm not gay, but if I was, there'd be nothing wrong with that! I have finally joined the ranks of Facebook. So far, over 20 people have asked me to be their friends. Does no one work anymore?!

I'm not gonna lie -- my main motivation for finally getting into social media is that I'm ridiculously excited about my latest venture -- I have become an Advocare Advisor. I love the products so much and they've helped me and my husband tremendously, that I decided to share it with the world. What better way than utilizing Facebook?

So now I'm thinking this blog is going to become more about my life as a whole versus just my life as a mom. Although for all you mommies out there wondering, today has been an interesting one. My daughter, who is potty-trained well enough to know better, has peed on the floor three times. But, wait! It gets better! She also pooped on the deck and then pointed out all the interesting things about her bowel movement. And I have the pictures and video to prove it. Yes, my husband and I are sick puppies and decided she would need to see this when she was older and we now have it in the archives. Blackmail, anyone? I have decided against posting it, however, because Ryan is holding her dress up and I don't want deviant people looking at her hoo-hah.